Khangwelo: What's my name?

The greatest act of respect one can ever show to me is to call me by my rightful name. They don't have to say it right but knowing that they tried their best is good enough for me( I believe a non-Venda can never say it right at first attempt). This means that I too have to call others by their real names or the ones they prefer to be called by. Respect is a two-way street, as they say. My name is my identity, I do not exist in its absence. In my culture, a name is believed to have a lot to say about a person's character. Mine means forgiveness and luckily my surname is also meaningful. My surname means tears, as used in the original TshiVenda Bible( that one with black hardcover and red lips). Trying to define my character using that, they would say I tend to forgive even those who bring me to tears(I'm yet to see that though).

I'm not so interesting in whether people know the meaning of my name and whether they are saying it right(provided that they really tried their best). I'm so interesting in what they call me. It's like my name is not that convenient enough, so some would try to make it simpler for themselves. The most common way of calling me is KG. It's short and uncomplicated, so they would say. They would say people the Kgomotso's of this world do not mind being called KG. What's the big deal?, they would ask. They tell me what I do not call so and so by their real names. For others, the reason is that my name is in TshiVenda, simple as that. With all these, I need to come up with reasons on why I do not want to be called the way they are calling me.

For one, I do not care about what one calls all the Kgomotso's they know. This doesn't set precedent on how people I called. I decide what I want to be called. I am not in a business of making that convenient for anyone. I don't wanna be called X or Q, as some would allow others to call them. It just reminds me of how much we have to lose of ourselves as we try to make ourselves 'acceptable' in whichever societies we live in. It's painful when the world cannot accept me as I am, then I have to settle for what I am not order to fit in. I will never let anyone lead to question if there's anything wrong with me(in this case, my name). I do not believe we are in this world to please other people at our own expense. I am as complicated as my name. I would prefer more not to be called at all than to be called what I don't want to be called. It's that or nothing. It was in UCT that I learnt that as a person I need to stand up for myself, as no one can understand my pain better than I do.

Still on the issue of pain, you cannot understand the other person's pain unless you have experienced it yourself(firsthand). It might look senseless but I don't disregard anyone's pain based on my understanding. This has helped me a lot in these times of student activism. With a lot of questions being asked about institutional systems in place, I had to personalize the issues and ask myself how I also suffer oppression on a social level. Interesting times indeed, as it allows me to see how I have been a victim and also a perpetuator of oppression unawares. I am on my own, I need to look out for myself and no one can know about my own emotional pain unless I voice it. I just have to be careful that I don't abuse others as I look out for myself. The world doesn't need any more hypocrisy.

I am very good with names, I even go as far as remembering what they mean. This comes from the fact that I value people so much. They are the masterpiece of God's creation, as other authors would say. It's just that people do not always treat you the way you treat them(they really need Jesus). I love the smile they give me when I call them by name but I hate to see the feeling of guilt in their face when they realise that they don't remember my name(it's always awkward to re-ask a person what their name is). I guess that's how we learn, we always remember those things that we once forgot. I guess I am not the only one who loves being called by their name, because even those people would always make an effort to find out what my name is.

I call myself K-Master. Sometimes I call myself Khangweezy. Or just KMan. If things are gradually improving in my life, I call myself the Slow Poison(slowly but surely, you know the drill). With all that being said, I expect everyone to call me Khangwelo. Is that too  much to ask?.